Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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