i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
