i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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