ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize