i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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