Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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