dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
