Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
