tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize