I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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