no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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