have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize