I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
