oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
