Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
