when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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