I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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