he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
