She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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