The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
