I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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