I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
