i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
