guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
