My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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