This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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