My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
only you would photoshop your dick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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