dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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