How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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