need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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