i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
