i just had sex bonerless
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
