Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
