so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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