well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
false alarm. still invincible.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize