I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize