The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
