are you still at the devil's house?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
