So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
