he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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