Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
