I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
