Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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