1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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