Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just invented taco cereal.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize