This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
