Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
