You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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