After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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