He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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