Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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