i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
