i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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