I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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