Quick, to the slutcave!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hippo gnu deer
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
